Spiderman
by MoonDream6
Summary: SpidermanHiei what if fic. What if Hiei decided to become Spiderman? Inspiration from youtube YYH video to a Kryptonite song. Really silly oneshot. He looked like Spiderman in this one clip, so I made this.


A/N: Silly oneshot fic. :P I made this with inspiration from Ashley... and TONS of support from Arjei, my beta, and sister! Thanks, both of you. Also, this could very well be a flame fest, it was a silly little Ari-writing. I hope you enjoy it anyway.

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Somewhere on a crowded city, where people lived in tiny, cramped apartments with 40-foot-tall skyscrapers nearby, a lone figure dressed in a red spandex suit with a spiderweb pattern across it dashed about busily from rooftop to rooftop. He was very short in stature, and had to wear a mask to keep his hair from giving him away. Unlike the REAL spiderman, this one needed no web rope, just his ability to jump 20 feet in the air. He dashed on until he heard sirens in the distance and, using his superhuman jumping skills, he raced on until he arrived at the scene. He busted a hole in the ceiling, and jumped through, and down into the bank where two people were busting into the safe.

"Oh, no, it's Spider Man!" One of them cried in shock, dropping the bag.

"Hn." Was all Spider Man said at first. "...You die where you stand."

"Oh no!" The two villains cried in unison. Spider Man took out of there just as the police, FBI, and all the like people burst in with their weapons drawn.

"Dear god." One of them said, in horror, looking at the two villains. The two villains were layed out, in pieces, all along the floor.

"This is Spider Man's doing. Horray, Spider Man!" The officers cheered. After all, that's what people do when superheroes do their jobs. It doesn't matter WHAT they do to the bad guys, because they can do that.

Spider Man leapt from building to building, finally deciding on some typical superhero type stalking on the girl he loved. But, as he was a superhero, no one cared if he stalked anyone, because they stalk people in style, and save the city from major threats. He used his 'psychic' spider sense, which is much stronger than the normal, to find his beloved 'Mary Jane'.

Once he had found her, he set straight off to where she was. She was sitting in the park, resting against a tree, and reading a book. He sat across the park, on top of a tall oak tree, watching her.

She continued to read, hindered by the strange feeling of being watched. Her eyes looked around the park, and although Spider Man was very sneaky, she immeadiately knew where he was. ((Amazingly true for all superhero stories and things.))

Her eyes connected with the ones on his mask for a few short seconds. She immeadiately looked back at her book, but she'd turned red. He followed her all the time. It was getting... creepy. But he was a superhero, so it's not like she could lodge a lawsuit against him for stalking her. Plus, his constant stalking was... kind of flattering. She couldn't exactly complain. In the next minute, he was in the tree behind her, (which scared her half to death) leaning over her shoulder, inspecting the book she read.

As he read over the page, he frowned, deeply. It was part of a romance novel, because that's what his Mary Jane loved to read. It's part of every girl's literary diet. As she turned a page, feeling a bit nervous about him reading it, he chose to make a comment, "You read this garbage? And find it ROMANTIC?" His voice stunned her. It was so masculine sexy.

"Um...yes?" She said, wearily, and slowly. She had never TALKED with Spider Man before.

"Hn." Spider Man stared at the book. "What's romantic about it?"

She practically shuddered at his voice so close to her ear. "Uhh... He's very sweet." She said, brightly, trying to avoid looking directly at Spider Man.  
"Hn. And you're a... 'sweet' type?" Spider Man sounded cynical. "...What's your name anyway?"

"...Liah..." She looked across the park. No one around. She turned a page. "Do I just call you 'Spider Man' or..."

"That's fine." He interrupted.

"Spidey..." Liah teased/flirted. Spider Man frowned. "So, just Spider Man?" Liah asked, reverting to normal.

"Just Spider Man." He frowned.

"Oookayy." Liah smiled. "Where are you headed, Spider Man?"

He frowned again, but you couldn't tell. "Does that matter now?"

"No, I guess not.." Liah frowned. She was being awful nosy. She thought, reproachfully.

He hopped down, sitting next to her. He took the book from her, reading the title. "Boring." He frowned, handing it back.

"Hey, I happen to like this book!" Liah protested. She heard a chuckle. Indignant, she said, "You're LAUGHING at me??..."

He laughed a little more, before she said, "Oh, haha, I get it. You're making fun of me." She laughed along, feeling a bit embarrassed at being riled so easily. Then, Spider Man suddenly stood up, and announced he had to leave. Liah nodded, and Spiderman leapt into a tree, and dashed away.

A few days later, Liah was in the same park as before, when it started to rain. She stood up, and started to walk away, when...

"Liah."

She turned. It was Spiderman, crouched on a tree branch. "Spiderman!" She walked back over to the tree.  
He sat on the branch, and flipped over upside down. "Are you ALWAYS reading that garbage?" He scoffed.

"Well, it's not like I know of any romance in MY life." Liah crossed her arms.

"Really." Spiderman grinned.

"Yes, really. Unless you want to be my real life romance." Liah stalked over to him, where he was upside down.

"...I'm not that type." He said, stiffly.

"Well, maybe you are now." Liah placed her hands on his jawline. "Would you be offended if I kissed you?"

"...I'm wearing a mask." He said, almost dumbly.

"Yes, you are." Liah tugged at the lower part of the mask.

He smacked her hands away. She laughed, and grabbed the bottom, and pulled it halfway up ((down?)) his face. "See? That's all I wanted. I wouldn't take it off." She soothed. She gently touched his lips. Soft. Then his cheek. Wet now from the rain, but still soft. He seemed to offhandedly take the affection. But he didn't return it. Liah laughed, a soft chuckle, and got on her tiptoes to kiss the superhero gently. She rocked back on her heels, and Spiderman swung up on the branch, and took off.

Liah didn't see much of Spiderman for a week or so. If she did, it was only on the television. After 8 days of no Spiderman, Liah was sitting in the park, under the same tree she met Spiderman under, when she heard some rustling. She looked up into the tree, expecting to see Spiderman there... She screamed. The thing leapt down, bringing a heavy fist upon her head, knocking her out.

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Four boys stood in front of a large screen, listening to their 'leader'. ((The Reikai Tantei, in case you haven't figured yet.))

"It's terrible! They're holding her for hostage!" The person on the screen yelled. "It's up to you four to stop them!"

The boys nodded, and headed out.

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Liah groaned. Ow. Her head...hurt...so...bad... Where was she? In a cold dark room with bars across the doors. There were no windows. Someone opened the door, and set a tray of food down. "Eat up," They sneered, noticing she was awake. Then they turned and left. Liah was afraid to eat the food. What had they done to it?

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The four boys burst open the doors of the castle. They spread out, opening doors, and things. "Hey, there's that girl!" Kuwabara yelled.

"What girl?" Hiei instantly bristled.

"The hostage." Kurama and Yusuke headed over to the door.  
"Are you hurt?" Kurama inquired.

"Just my head." Liah sighed. "...I know how odd this question will sound, but... is Spiderman out there?"

They looked at each other. Spiderman?

"No." Kurama called into the cell. "We're going to get you out."

Hiei cringed when she said Spiderman. At least the team didn't know. But SHE would! He couldn't say a word. She knew his voice.

They opened the door with some good old-fashioned rosewhiping. Liah came out, worried. "...Why did...why did they want me?" Liah asked.

"Perhaps because you were there." Kurama suggested. "Perhaps because they thought you had some connection to us. It was us they were after."

Liah sputtered, "But I've never met ANY of you!"

"And you won't again." Kurama replied. "Come along."

Liah took this time to look at the other three. She wondered about them, and especially the shortest one. That was an almost familiar height... She put that off. "Are you sure they're not after Spiderman?" Liah wrapped her hands around herself. "I... know him."

"We don't have any idea who Spiderman is." Yusuke got defensive. "And they sent the challenge to US."

"O...okay." Liah nodded. Hiei watched this, interested. They headed out, to the main part of the castle.

They walked in, and saw the Thing seated there. "You four have ruined everything. Especially the one who plays at superhero." The Thing growled.

"..." The four looked at each other.

"You all will regret coming here." The Thing sneered. "Especially you, 'Spiderman'."

Hiei resisted the urge to burst at him and kill him.  
"Who is going to take care of him?" Kurama asked, with a smile. Hiei stepped forward, unsheathing his sword. Kurama looked at him, thoughtful, and the three stepped back, along with Liah. She mused the boy thoughtfully. If she could get close enough to touch him... It practically had to be.

Hiei waited for the Thing to rise. It did, finally, and Hiei took it by surprise, immeadiately going for the deathblow. It groaned, feeling the sword through its stomach, and then the stomach's contents, guts, and blood poured out all over. Hiei backed away, wiped his sword off, and walked off. The team blinked, and followed after him.

"I'll take the girl home." Hiei said, once they were outside. The team nodded.   
Hiei carried her halfway, and set her down.  
"You're Spiderman, I just know it." Liah pressed.

"Yes. But... you knowing who I am, and being with me puts you at high risk." Hiei looked at her. He stepped forward, and kissed her. Liah accepted it hungrily. Hiei, as they parted, quickly, and painlessly knocked her out. "Goodbye, Liah." He set her down gently, and brushed her bangs lightly off her face. He erased her memories, feeling almost regretful, and skirted off.  
A few days later, Kurama found the spiderman suit in the trash. He sighed. Hiei had been moping ever since he took that girl home... Kurama looked up, to see Hiei sitting in a tree, staring off into the distance.

Hiei _had_ been in an awful mood ever since... Upsetting those that knew, and confusing those that didn't. Hiei didn't _want_ to be Spiderman anymore. To be Spiderman, you had to play at being human. And to play human meant to be wrapped up in their games. Hiei, games, and humans were three things that became explosive upon mixing... Hiei frowned, staring off again. Things would get better. He just had to wait... and do his best to forget.


End file.
